Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
