it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
