remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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