I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
