Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
