did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
