I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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