He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
