so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
