He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
