his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
