Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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