Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
