i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Two words: blizzard sex
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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