i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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