I got chris browned last night
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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