Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize