i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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