You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
