Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
