everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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