So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
