Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My vagina just recognized that song.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This baby is an asshole
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
