listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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