i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
