my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
