im drinking this country out of the recession.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
