Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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