she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
