did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
