I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
