I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
