At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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