it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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