how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
