god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
