I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize