Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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