Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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