I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ketchup is God's man juice
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
