Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
