He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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