Quick, to the slutcave!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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