ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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