Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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