my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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