yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize