I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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