I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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