i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
