Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
