you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
