biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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