We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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