just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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