Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
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