Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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