Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
