after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
