I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
