1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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